Posted by: nflanders | September 7, 2008

Announcing the arrival of Rod Flanders

After a lot of huffing and puffing (I think Maude may have played a role as well, I’m not sure), I have a son. (Take that, Henry VIII!) I am so not ready. Rod Flanders is extremely cute, despite his genes, but looks exactly like an infant Winston Churchill. Never have so many slept so little for so few.

I’m finally getting a little better at this parenting thing now that my mother-in-law has finally moved out and Rod has calmed down a bit. Whenever he starts crying, part of me is terrified that he’ll never stop. Infants crying never really bothered me before, but for some reason, when Rod gets going, I feel like going crazy. It’s intolerable.

Now I know that Mormonism is false, because there is no way anyone would choose me to be their parent in the pre-existence. Just like picking teams for dodgeball, even if it came down to just me and Michael Lohan, I’m pretty sure most people would be like, “Hey, Satan, do you still have openings for angels, because I don’t think this getting a body thing is for me.”

Despite all this, I have to say we are pretty damn fortunate to have our miracle baby. I say he’s a miracle, not least for spending 4 months in a freezer as a blastocyst. He’s our unfrozen caveman baby. Hmmm, maybe there’s still time to change the birth certificate…



  1. Oh my god, I’m all misty-eyed. I didn’t know Rod had already made his debut! CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a great result for that humble frozen blastocyst. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    I hope you get some sleep and that the little fella’s crying doesn’t drive you round the bend. I’m *certain* you will in fact be a most awesome dad. No kidding.

  2. Praise Allah, Hesus, the Buddha, the improbable Virgin, and maybe even Jehovah (depending on who you think he is).

    And others’ babies crying isn’t quite the same as yours (or your siblings in my case). I was the designated babysitter in my family for about 10 years. There were days when my littlest brother would literally cry for 5 hrs straight while my parents were gone. Thank Vishnu that’s over.

    Good luck and congratulations, etc., and junk.

  3. Such a cute, wee foot. 😀

    Congratulations. Enjoy him.

  4. congrats!

    yeah, the no sleep thing was a major shock to the system when my son was born. it gets better.

    we’re about to have a girl sometime in the next few weeks. definitely not ready.

  5. Congratulations Ned!

    When I hear someone else’s baby cry, on the inside I laugh and laugh and laugh–because, It’s not mine, not my problem. When it’s my own, I veer toward panic.

  6. Fabulous news! I’m so happy for you guys! You are in for an incredible ride – every phase is just outrageously fun.

    A baby changes your life forever, in the best way (but you’ve already figured that out, I’m guessing). Enjoy as much of it as you can.

  7. Congratulations. There really are not enough Rods in the world. I have total confidence in your parenting. Enjoy!

  8. Congrats, Ned! Just keep Rod away from that pesky Simpsons kid.

  9. So, how’s everything going Ned?

  10. Hey, Craig! Things are okay, but I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a looooong time. Someone should have warned me that these things are a lot of work.

    How are you doing, Craig?

  11. Yeah, that’s what I hear. I am well, thanks.

    Not sure what else to say. Good luck/have fun/get some sleep…?

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