Posted by: nflanders | May 7, 2008


I got cocky; I can admit that. Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun. I thought the wings could hold just a bit longer, a few more flaps higher into the sky. Once spring had come, I got a little giddy, a bit full of myself. If it could last this long, it just might last through summer, I thought. Forget summer, it might last until fall! I let my pride get the better of my judgment. I said to myself, let it go just one more day. I had to push it just a little further. Always just one more day; then I’ll buy it. Then I will eat immortality itself.

There is a pumpkin-shaped hole in my world:




  1. They’re both gone? How tragic!

  2. You dreamed too big, neighbour. It was a pipe dream at best. I mourn with you.

  3. Tomorrow’s Lead Story:

    “Man dies after eating mysteriously long-loved cake. Heywood Jablome, 36, died shortly after consuming the frozen Halloween treat. According to his wife, Liqoor Maid-Jablome, Heywood had become increasingly obsessed with the confection since noticing it several months ago. ‘He wouldn’t leave the damn thing alone! He finally gave into temptation and bought TWO of them. Our son’s geiger counter went nuts when we brought them into the house, but Heywood ignored the warnings. Now he is paying for his lust!’ On a happier note, Mrs. Maid-Jablome learned that the funeral home would be giving her a discount rate. Apparently no extra preservatives would be required. Funeral services are pending.”

  4. Funniest. comment. ever.

  5. You’re seriously underestimating the trickery of your grocery store Ned.

    I’d be on the lookout for special “4th of July” cakes. You know, an Uncle Sam with a gap-toothed grin and a orange tinge, complete with an after-factory red white and blue hat.

    If your store is run by an immigrant, maybe Uncle Sam will have one of those cartoon bubbles saying “Hapi Birtday USA”.

  6. Good call, Capt. Jack. I’ll definitely be on the look-out for Uncle Sam cakes with triangle eyes.

    I wonder if they just threw the cakes away or if someone took them home. I should have gotten a second job as a stocker.

  7. I’m thinking that the despair of losing your cake is why you’ve been postless for so long.

  8. That’s a possibility, Ann. Also, it could be that I went for the Easter cake and have been in Intensive Care ever since.

    Nah, I’m just bummed because my job sucks. And, apparently, so do I at doing that job.

  9. But we still want to hear from you! I’m sure you have some heretically awesome stories to share.

  10. Ahh, shucks. Thanks, Craig. Sadly, no heresy these past weeks. Just soccer, painting, and work. Oh, and childbirth classes. Man, am I screwed.

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